Don’t be sorry. Be better.
I recently finished a game called “God of War: Ragnarök.” Yes, I’m a priest who plays video games. I’m a millennial after all. Anyway, for those who do not know the game or the story I will leave it to you to look it up or play the game yourself for all the details. The central character is Kratos, the God of War who fled from his home country of Greece and made it to the land of the Norse to start a new life. He married and had a son named Atreus. Ragnarök (the apocalypse of Norse mythology) is on the horizon and Kratos and his now teenage son Atreus must contend with it. One of the key and most moving threads through the story is the relationship between father and son. Kratos’ wife is long dead, and he must raise Atreus as best he can. All the while Kratos wrestles with his own dark past, wishing something better for his son. While he only wants the best for his son, Kratos is tough on him. In the previous game, when the young boy Atreus made a mistake, he would apologize. Kratos would respond gruffly “Don’t be sorry. Be better.” At one point in the new game, Kratos apologizes to Atreus for being so distrustful. Atreus responds, “Don’t be sorry, father. Be better.” It was meant sincerely and affectionately, not sarcastically. It was a moving moment as you see father and son trying to navigate a dark and difficult world together, striving ever more eagerly to break the cycle of violence, to be something better.
Recently, a young man preparing for the Sacrament of Confirmation asked me to be his sponsor. I know him and his family well. I have every reason to believe that he thought this through. I very happily agreed and thankfully managed not to tear up in front of him! He will be my third godson. (Side note: in Spanish, the terms for Godfather and Godson (padrino and ahijado) are the same for both baptism and confirmation. I use this terminology because to call someone my “sponsee” sounds dumb. So there…).
I take this very seriously. A godfather/sponsor is supposed to be someone that can be a model and a support to help a person live the Christian life more fully. The fact that this young man asked me to be a sponsor means that he looks up to me and wants me to have a significant part in his life. He wants to follow Christ and in me he sees someone that can help him do that. This is an honor and I’m excited and thankful. It is also humbling and to be perfectly honest it frightens me a bit.
Responsibilities like this can be an occasion for fear and trembling. Or at least I think they should cause fear and trembling if we are taking them seriously. I imagine it is the same for parents when they bring a new life into the world. As they look at their newborn child and they realize that they are responsible for this person. That certainly means providing basic necessities. That also means ensuring that this child grows to be a good man or good woman. It means teaching virtue. It means leading this child to God to grow in faith, hope, and love. That’s a lot to handle. The complexities are enormous. No, being a godparent isn’t the same level of responsibility, but it is something. I have a real responsibility to model the Christian life for three young men I have the privilege of calling my godsons. They depend on me. They depend on my time, my prayers, my words, and my actions to show them Christ. Yet I still have to contend with my weaknesses, insufficiencies, and the reality of my sins. Responsibilities like this can be an occasion for fear and trembling as we wonder if we are up to the task.
At the same time, responsibilities like this can be an occasion to strive to be better than you are. Now, we should be sorry for sin, but don’t be sorry in the sense of wallowing in self-pity or making excuses for behavior you do not intend to remedy. Say you are sorry in the sense of true contrition which includes a real and firm purpose of amendment. It should be a “sorry” that moves you to be better. Instead of the self-pity and “woe is me” attitude, throw yourself at the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Ask for the grace to be better than you were yesterday. And then go do it. The battle is real, but so is the grace of God. Someone looks up to you. Someone depends on you. Don’t be sorry. Be better.
Image a screenshot from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdy7jRm_188
